Nesting, by Roisín O’Donnell, tells the story of Ciara as she tries to leave her awful husband. Breaking up is complicated because they have two little girls, Sophie and Ella, and when the story begins, Ciara’s pretty sure she’s pregnant again. She’s tried leaving Ryan before, and decided to come back and give their relationship another go. She tells herself it’s not that bad, since he doesn’t actually hit her or anything, and besides, it’s so hard to break up the family. 

The book does a great job blurring the caretaking work for Ciara’s very young children and the caretaking she does for Ryan’s moods. Mostly, he’s awful and Ciara tries to appease him, but she has memories of good times, too. I think most people have had a relationship with high points and low points, and considered whether there was more good or bad in it. Ciara faces emotional abuse, hostility at home for any perceived mistake, and financial control from her husband, but as she reminds herself, she’s not physically abused, and she doesn’t want to take the kids from their dad.

There are a few moments when Ryan becomes a little too evil, and when he goes from jerk boyfriend to cartoon-villain, it’s harder to accept the plot and Ciara’s acceptance of his behavior is harder to understand. It’s hard to see her as a smart person or even a full adult when falling into some of his more extreme manipulations.  Ryan’s parents felt more believable, the way his mother twisted every situation to be Ciara’s fault and believed Ryan could do no wrong.

At other times, this novel might be too realistic. Ciara’s ready to leave, but then gets sucked back in, and then wants to leave again, and it goes on and on. I know that’s an accurate situation, but I found myself feeling less and less sympathetic as it went on. Waffling about choices isn’t a riveting read, either. 

I enjoyed that the kids felt like actual kids. These aren’t the precocious faux-children of inspiration LinkedIn posts, the toddlers never lisp important life truths at key moments.  Instead, the little girls want to watch animal shows while Ciara’s life is falling apart, and yeah that felt like real children. The girls accept with toddler logic that their home heating is broken and that’s why Mama has to take them to a hotel, and they must never mention the hotel to their dad.

The story is set in Ireland, so the housing and welfare system was a bit different, but some parts of it, like the endless waiting for services and  the overworked support staff, felt like what my former students often dealt with here. Ciara is told that she’s on a list for housing, but there’s no timeline, besides that she needs to call in regularly to stay on an invisible list, for housing somewhere, sometime.

In Nesting, the focus really is on Ciara’s inner life, not the external events. I felt cheated in a few places because the story would bring us to a dramatic point, and then pick up a few weeks later when it was sorted out. 

Nesting is most interesting and successful when it stays close to Ciara’s conflicted inner world. Despite slightly repetitive sections as she slowly considers and reconsiders her choices, the book really shows a character who’s been worn down by emotional and financial abuse.